My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
