Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
