I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
