like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Randomize
