the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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