I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
