He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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