this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
