Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
