y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
