Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
