drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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