Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
