Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
