i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
