problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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