I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
