Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
