Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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