it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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