capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
