also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
