this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
