I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We smell like vodka and hangover
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
