I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
