well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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