i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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