Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I wear drunk well.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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