You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
