We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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