so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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