So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
