It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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