Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
