I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
