Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
