need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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