Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
