I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
