They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
