she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize