Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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