; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You can't just leave with hair like that
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize