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i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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