I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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