I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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