If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Enjoy the penises
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
