i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Success! We fucked roommates!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize