Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
