so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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