Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
