You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
