"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
