ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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