Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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