I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
