There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
