I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize