Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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