question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
