id be glad to
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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