there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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